My Love/Hate Relationship With Myself

Love and Hate

PROs
“If I lose my excess weight…” 

  • I will like whom I see in the mirror.
  • I will enjoy buying clothing.
  • I will have more energy.
  • I will want to go more places and try more things that are new.
  • I will look forward to bumping into old friends.
  • My diseases might improve.
  • People will not judge me so harshly.
  • I will be able to fit into my very nice clothing again.
  • I will enjoy my life so much more.
  • It will build my confidence to push towards other goals. 

CONs
 “I hate being fat because…”

  • It makes me horribly insecure.
  • It robs me of vitality.
  • I fear I will die young from it.
  • It makes me self-conscious in intimacy.
  • I can barely squeeze down the aisle in the airplane or get the airplane seatbelt on.
  • I worry about which chair I sit on, as I do not want to break it.
  • Others do not understand how difficult my struggle and they all have the easy answers that will not work for either our family or me.
  • I feel ugly.
  • I feel out of control.
Published in: on January 23, 2010 at 6:17 am  Comments (2)  
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Motivation: What Moves You?

Through the years, I have read so many accounts on how one becomes motivated. I quickly concluded that there is not one magical path to prompt one towards their goal. Until we grasp our individuality and comprehend all that entails, we are doomed to a life of mediocrity.

How does one find what motivates them? We should figure out what has persuaded us in our past.

There is the motivation of staying out of trouble. The threat of losing one’s job can compel one to do their work instead of playing on the computer. The lack of desire of going to jail can keep one from giving in to temptation to break the law.

The ability to generate praise might prompt another.  Perhaps you would buy a nicer bouquet for this occasion or bake a fancier dish. Everybody has somebody they like to please for whatever the reason. Be it love, admiration, or the hope of reciprocation.

When we look at how the human mind operates just in these two situations, we can deduct a lot about the roots of motivation. We require a “force” to drive us to our goals. Whether it stems from negative or positive, it must be enough to activate us.

We are not looking for the “right” answers we think others want to hear, rather the “right” solutions of our own making. The truth sets us free, indeed.  

If you were to take a paper and write down everything that you hate about the current thing you yearn to change, what would you say?  Be as negative as you want. Reality has taught us that some negative things do inspire us to stay on a certain path.

Now flip the paper over and write down every reason you want to change your situation. Do not be shy. If it is for selfish reasons, so be it. We all have selfish thoughts that we contemplate.  Write down every item that comes to mind, no matter how trivial it seems.

When you have completed this exercise put a number beside each snippet as to which is most intense being #1, then #2, etc. on each side of this paper.

Now you have the inspiration. To keep it fresh in your mind, make up a new paper or index card with pros on one side and cons on the other. This needs to fit in your pocket, wallet, or purse. You need to read this upon waking and before going to sleep at night. Throughout the day, every time you are tempted to stray from the path of your goal, stop whatever you are doing and fix your eyes upon this card.

In my next post, I will share my own embarrassing card with you.

Published in: on January 22, 2010 at 6:49 am  Leave a Comment  
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